Darkly

by Matthew Rochester

Logline

A disturbed boy, seemingly resilient to death, befriends the murderous monsters lurking after him. However, after finding a strange girl in the woods who is enamored by the afterlife, his "friends" start to disappear.

Synopsis

A disturbed boy, seemingly resilient to death, befriends the murderous monsters lurking after him. However, after finding a strange girl in the woods who is enamored by the afterlife, his “friends” start to disappear.

Genre

fantasy, horror

About this Writer

Tribal Affiliation

Tribe
Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians
Tribal Affiliation Type
Enrolled

Union Affiliation

Non-WGA

Reviews

Review by
Ian Skorodin
-
January 4, 2021

Overall Rating

6

Premise

6

Plot

5

Character

7

Dialogue

8

Setting

6

Era

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Locations

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Logline

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Strengths

The fun, Amblin meets Tim Burton tone is the best part of the script – the writer does a very good job at creating an interestingly macabre and dark world that feels like it both pays homage and invents something new. The dialogue is also quite good with Phaedo and Willow having an incredibly fun and playful dynamic throughout with a quirky energy that never felt cloying. The moments between Ophelia and Phaedo were sweet and it was wonderful to learn more about their loss and their relationship.

Weaknesses

The beginning was quite confusing understanding the dynamics of Phaedo vs. Sin and Phaedo vs. The Other Monsters. It was hard to tell Phaedo’s relationship with both parties and how monsters existed in this world. Sin’s influence in turning the other monsters into adversaries felt underdeveloped and could use finessing. The world’s setting felt a bit unclear – while the appeal could be anywhere, USA, as a reader, I had a difficult time discerning where things were occurring, what this town was like. It might behoove the writer to go back into the draft and clarify these details. 
Additionally, while I appreciated the darkness, Willow’s jarring suicidal entrypoint into the film is a bit jarring and may lose the more family-friendly appeal of the film.

Prospects

In a single paragraph, please describe an overall summation of the script that can serve to help it’s potential for being sold. Additional notes may be added if desired. A Goonies-like script with kooky characters and smart dialogue is very exciting, but there are a few plot and clarity issues that should be addressed before going out to market. Additionally, the Tim Burton tone is very fun, but in order to be maximized for more quadrants, it may be best to soften the darker edges to appeal to a broader audience as it sits a bit too in between kids and adults.